After so many freakin’ weeks of having writer’s block I FINALLY feel the urge to write something other than whiny journal entries to myself. Last week, I joined my lez friends again for dim sum at one of my favorite restaurants in Chandler. We gorged ourselves silly and sat back comfortably with full stomachs when I asked the question, “So, how many of you all have had sex within the last week?” I can do this with them because I write erotica…and they expect sex related questions from me. Nothing I say stuns them and actually they’re worse than ME! No topic is too much for this group.
Out of seven of us, one of my friends darted her hand up excitedly only to find the rest of us staring blankly at her. One even grumbled, “Okay let’s not talk about sad things.” We chuckled about it but really, what the fuck is up with lesbian bed death and what point does it happen? Without going into the details of my own personal relationship, I thought I’d trudge ahead and not drop the subject regardless of how uncomfortable the topic might be. The friend who raised her hand went on to explain that if a couple stops having sex then what do they really have? If one wants sex, but the other isn’t putting out, then the one who wants it should put her foot down. The two should reach some kind of compromise to make sure that needs get met unless there’s some kind of physical problem that can’t be helped. I listened on. It all made sense. One friend said that she couldn’t blame someone for having an affair if their partner didn’t want to have sex. Hmmm. Okay, this was an interesting perspective...too bad I can't remember the rest of the conversation! Next time I'll bring my voice recorder!
So lack of sex in a relationship, aka lesbian bed death; is it the same for straight married couples? Does marriage ruin one’s sex life? Comedians always seem to have a heyday with marriage and lack of sex. Straight guys always say it’s their wives that don’t want sex but what about in a lesbian relationship? What is it that makes that desire wane? Does the sex pilot light go dim when you’re with the same person for awhile? I dunno’ about everyone else’s pilot light but mine is like an eternal flame, still burning like a raging wildfire. I see visions of myself being in a nursing home when I get old and feeble, terrorizing both the nurses and any lucky old lady who is still mobile. Of course that would lead to me getting smacked on the side of the head by my girlfriend, but hey, by that time she’d have to be able to catch me first!
So what does lesbian bed death have to do with erotica? Hell, maybe it means you need to go out and buy some HOT Lesbian erotica books RIGHT NOW. Have the ice queen (your girlfriend) read a few stories and just DO IT! Act out some of the stories; that’s always fun :)
Of course this also means I need to get my ass busy writing again!
