Erotica and Lesbian Bed Death

After so many freakin’ weeks of having writer’s block I FINALLY feel the urge to write something other than whiny journal entries to myself. Last week, I joined my lez friends again for dim sum at one of my favorite restaurants in Chandler. We gorged ourselves silly and sat back comfortably with full stomachs when I asked the question, “So, how many of you all have had sex within the last week?” I can do this with them because I write erotica…and they expect sex related questions from me. Nothing I say stuns them and actually they’re worse than ME! No topic is too much for this group.

Out of seven of us, one of my friends darted her hand up excitedly only to find the rest of us staring blankly at her. One even grumbled, “Okay let’s not talk about sad things.” We chuckled about it but really, what the fuck is up with lesbian bed death and what point does it happen? Without going into the details of my own personal relationship, I thought I’d trudge ahead and not drop the subject regardless of how uncomfortable the topic might be. The friend who raised her hand went on to explain that if a couple stops having sex then what do they really have? If one wants sex, but the other isn’t putting out, then the one who wants it should put her foot down. The two should reach some kind of compromise to make sure that needs get met unless there’s some kind of physical problem that can’t be helped. I listened on. It all made sense. One friend said that she couldn’t blame someone for having an affair if their partner didn’t want to have sex. Hmmm. Okay, this was an interesting perspective...too bad I can't remember the rest of the conversation! Next time I'll bring my voice recorder!

So lack of sex in a relationship, aka lesbian bed death; is it the same for straight married couples? Does marriage ruin one’s sex life? Comedians always seem to have a heyday with marriage and lack of sex. Straight guys always say it’s their wives that don’t want sex but what about in a lesbian relationship? What is it that makes that desire wane? Does the sex pilot light go dim when you’re with the same person for awhile? I dunno’ about everyone else’s pilot light but mine is like an eternal flame, still burning like a raging wildfire. I see visions of myself being in a nursing home when I get old and feeble, terrorizing both the nurses and any lucky old lady who is still mobile. Of course that would lead to me getting smacked on the side of the head by my girlfriend, but hey, by that time she’d have to be able to catch me first!

So what does lesbian bed death have to do with erotica? Hell, maybe it means you need to go out and buy some HOT Lesbian erotica books RIGHT NOW. Have the ice queen (your girlfriend) read a few stories and just DO IT! Act out some of the stories; that’s always fun :)

Of course this also means I need to get my ass busy writing again!

Condoleeza's Reading My Blog....

About a month ago while at a Renaissance festival, I saw a psychic dressed in what looked like gypsy garb giving readings. Vacillating on whether to pluck down $30 for a reading, I figured oh, why the hell not? It’s been awhile since I’ve had a reading done. The last one was in Santa Monica on the boardwalk where I paid a whopping $3.00 and had my palm & fortune read by an old woman with impossibly HUGE and thick glasses. I don’t know HOW she was able to read the lines on my hand so maybe she was depending more on her psychic abilities.

She told me that I was going to be crossing over an ocean and traveling to Europe. That was in October of last year…I’m still waiting for that airline ticket to fall out of the sky. The $30 psychic also mentioned a body of water. She also told me that I was psychic. So as I was sitting there I was reading her mind too…thinking; Lady, you’re really reaching but I like what I’m hearing.

I shrugged off what she said about me being a psychic until recently when I started getting these really strong vibes that someone unusual was peeking at my blog. It wasn’t just anyone but more someone really, really, unusually special. Through my new awareness of special extrasensory and telepathic perception, I’ve narrowed it down to none other than Condoleeza. Yeah…THAT Condoleeza. Hehehe…. You know, it must have been my posting about the two librarians because I know how “tight” she is with Laura (sarcastic grin).

Alright, I know this is complete silliness and has nothing to do with erotica or sex, but you know what? It’s MY blog and I can write what I want!! Hahahaha (puts pinky next to mouth and makes a face like Dr. Evil). Actually, it’s nice to be silly once in awhile yanno?

--Insane D

ps. That's not a photo of me. lol.

Coffee Night With the Girls and Cheating...

I spent last Friday night at a coffee shop with some fellow lez friends of mine. I hadn’t seen them in awhile and it was nice to hang out as well as meet some new ladies too! I met “B” & “J,” two really nice women who I hung out with again at an art festival the next day. Interestingly the initials of their first names are acronyms for …..well, umm..errr, (blow job for the really clueless). Hehehe. Look, at least I didn’t use your real names, just the initials. Okay, okay, slap my behind for attempting to be funny out of simple happenstance. (Forgive me? I know some are rolling their eyes at my weak attempt at humor..oh well).

Our caffeine-induced conversations were all over the place and really; we were just goofing off and not treating ANY particular subject seriously. The one topic that stuck out in my mind was about cheating. The question we posed to each other was “Have you ever cheated?” and is it true that “Once a cheater, always a cheater?” Talk about playing with dynamite.

Out of the seven of us, 3 confessed to having a prior record of cheating. I will plead the Fifth Amendment on this question on the grounds it could be incriminating. Overwhelmingly, everyone agreed that once someone has cheated, they will more than likely do it again. It stood to reason that it was just bound to “happen.” Those that said they had cheated agreed that they might again. Then the conversation went from, okay, if you were seeing a guy (for whatever reason) and were seeing someone else, is it cheating? Interestingly, no one felt that it was. There seemed to be more significance placed on the gender of the indivdual you were with as to whether cheating really occurred (using our lesbian cheating barometer). I guess if you’re a lesbian and find yourself dating a guy, then perhaps you’re suffering from temporary insanity and therefore permitted a lapse of judgement. You get a “free cheating pass,” ‘cuz according to our little consensus, you ain’t cheating. But sneak around on your girlfriend WITH another woman? Biotch, you’re a cheater.

Oh, and we also discussed whether kissing was an act of cheating. After some hilarious banter, the concensus was “yes and no.” If you use tongue while engaged in kissing a nongirlfriend...then, yeah, you’re cheating. If you DON’T use tongue…have at it! Yippee!! You’re not cheating!! I have to keep from chuckling on this one. Ahhh…’twas a fun and and silly night. It was good to share a laugh amongst friends. D

Top 10 Places to Get Down and Dirty

I like lists. It was fun doing the last one and I thought I’d do one more just for the heck of it. I wrote this in a hazy stupor this morning, just minutes after waking up.

I’d love to hear where everyone else’s favorite and naughty places to have a sensuous tryst are. Even more fun, how about somewhere where you haven’t but want to?! I’m sure MY little list is tame compared to yours. Shoot me an email or post a comment and I'll make another list with everyone's favs.

1. Limousine
   
2. Dressing room
3. Stairs
4. In an office
5. Elevator
6. Kitchen counter
7. Hood of a car
8. Public restroom
9. Cemetery
   
10. Swimming pool

Naughty, Naughty Librarians, Oh My!

In an earlier blog I mentioned I was working on a story about librarians. The two saucy librarians in my story are…well, burning up the sheets and I’m not talking about the ones between two book covers. In this excerpt, we catch them exiting an elevator at a hotel where they are attending a library conference.

"Waiting”

By Dylynn DeSaint

“Are you wearing it?” I ask her, my eyes searching her neck and stepping away as the doors open up.

With eyes cast downward and forming a sexy smile on her beautiful pouty lips, she murmurs; “Yes, Mistress.”

Tugging at the fabric, she lowers the neckline of her turleneck sweater so that I can see the leather collar with the shiny metal letters forming the words, Her Slave, wrapped snuggly around the smooth skin of her neck. The darkness contrasts beautifully against her tawny brown skin and beautiful black hair. The big metal ring in the front looks lost without its leash. I can fix that problem later on.

As soon as I see it, I walk off the elevator with her trailing behind me. We search for our separate rooms. I find mine, open the door and push my luggage inside, letting the door close behind me. I listen for hers to close too. I wait. Soon I hear the door handle turning to the room adjacent to mine. She opens it. I grab her by the wrist, pull her roughly inside my room and shove her up against the wall. She cries out as I grab a fistful of hair, yank her head back and kiss her hard, bruising the soft lips that I’ve craved with mine. Shoving my hand under her blouse I maul her breasts roughly, pinching her nipples between my fingers until she whimpers against my lips.

“Miss me?” I taunt her.

“God baby, I did…and so much!” she gasps breathlessly, biting my lips like a bitch in full heat and wrapping her legs around my thigh. I can feel the heat and moisture from her cunt searing into my leg.

“Show me how happy you are to see me then,” I say as I release her from my grip.

© March 19, 2008 Dylynn DeSaint

No part or portion may be republished or reprinted in electronic or any other format, in any language, translation, or version, without express permission from the author, except brief passages which may be quoted in a review.

Did you know.....

I was working on a bio for Sapphic Planet and was going to include this list but decided it was too longwinded of me. What better place to put it than here since I'd already written it? Let's see if you and I have anything in common :)

1. My favorite food is Indian food.
2. My favorite female musical entertainers are Goldfrapp, Missy Elliot, Fergie, Dixie Chicks, and Diana Krall.
3. My favorite color is green.
4. I love to play devil’s advocate during office debates.
5. I have perfected the art of giving the appearance that I’m listening or paying attention when I’m really not.
6. I stopped reading the newspaper and watching television after the last presidential election. Ok, I watch Ugly Betty and the L word but that’s it.
7. I hate hot weather yet live in Arizona.
8. I own more watches than I need.
9. I wear a watch everyday but am late to nearly everything.
10. I bring my laptop with me everywhere I go.
11. I listen to music every single day and as much as possible.
12. I stopped listening to the radio two years ago (since I got an ipod) and sometimes forget how to work the one I have in my car.
13. I don’t have any tattoos but have 5 piercings in my ears, 3 on one side, 2 on the other.
14. I still like to eat Frosted Flakes & Cap'n Crunch, sometimes at 3am in the morning when I can't sleep.
15. I like to chew ice.
16. People tell me I'm an extrovert even though I feel like an introvert. .
17. I'm weird but find being weird is better than being normal because normal is boring.
18. I borrowed the idea for this list from a friend.
19. I like odd numbers, hence why this list ends with the #19

Sapphic Planet

I joined a new Yahoo writer's group called Sapphic Planet which was started specifically for writers in the F/F genre. It's a place to discuss our stories, brainstorm, critique and also to discuss promotional ideas.

We are working on plans to produce an F/F erotica/erotic romance anthology with contributions by members of Sapphic Planet. Join Sapphic Planet and be part of this important anthology in celebration of our genre!

Sapphic Planet was opened to give authors of F/F a place to congregate and work on ways to make F/F more popular, bringing it into mainstream. For those of you that write this genre and would be interested in taking part, please email Beth Wylde at b.wylde@yahoo.com .